Here is What Anxious People Can Learn from Charismatic One

Wonder how charismatic people have so much friends, and even followers? Why are they never look in fear? Why are they always walk in confidence? Why are they behave like “everything will be alright”?

Here are the answers.

1. They Believe

People get anxious when uncertainty comes. Things they believe in starts to fade out. “Am I do the right thing?” question starts wandering around their mind. Yeah, this kind of question is wandering around everyone’s mind, but the charismatic one can handle it and stay believing.

Charismatic people believe in anything they think right. They believe what they’re doing right now are right (even if it doesn’t in some others’ perspectives), they believe in their belief, they believe in themselves.

They have that spirit, that confidence to stay believing even if it doesn’t seems right.

‘Cause nothing in this world is truly right, and uncertainty is always wandering around everything. So stay believing.

2. They have Realistic Goal

Three weeks ago you’ve set a target for yourself: “I will be a millionaire in a month”. Now you only have one week, and you don’t even have $1000. If you don’t re-evaluate your goal and forcing yourself to achieve it, you’ll get depressed and anxious.

set realistic life goal
from sani-salim.com

Charismatic people tend to set systematic and realistic goal. It must be measurable and reachable. Instead of setting a “one million in a month” goal, they instead set “$5000 million in a month”.

They know how to set a goal that makes them great (‘cause they’ll have $5000 next month) without pressuring them too much. They can organize their time and effort.

They set goal that doesn’t break their mind. That lets them live in peace and confident, because they know that their dream is achievable as long as they put enough effort and know how to achieve it.

3. They Don’t Care Much

Have you ever imagine when people talk about your appearance? Sounds a little bit scary, right?

A charismatic person will say “no, it isn’t scary”.

don't care much
from veracode.com

Charismatic people care, yes, they care – for anything that makes them improving. They don’t care about negative image people have about them. They just live confidently and don’t care about others that try to make them down.

4. They are Enthusiastic

Know that silent, lazy, and “looks-scary” people? We should call them “living dead”.

Charismatic people almost always look enthusiastic. They have the spirit in everything they do, in every of their conversation. That’s why charismatic people are always followed by others.

Enthusiasm is contagious.

5. They have Passion

One of the best way to get more friends, stay out from being introvert, and get a little fame is to have a passion. Choose a thing you really like and put your enthusiasm into it. Join community, learn about it more, and eventually be an expert. You’ll then get respected by others, and this is what charismatic people do.

So simply, be a person that have faith, enthusiastic, and confident.

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A Masterpiece Quote from A Masterpiece Movie

a masterpiece quote from a masterpiece movie

In 2015, I’ve watched Interstellar for a dozen time. I don’t need to read a review before buying it ’cause I know that its a Christopher Nolan’s movie, and Nolan will never disappoint me. So, yeah, he didn’t disappoint me. 😉

Interstellar is a weird and nerdy movie (that’s why I gotta watch them). Its main word is that love is also a dimension, 5th dimension, actually, besides space, time, etc.. Well, that’s already hit my understanding of physics a lot.

But, the most thing from Interstellar that hits my brain like a train is this scene when Dad (I forget his name) told Murphy why she has that name. Dad said that it is based on Murphy’s law:

Anything can happen, will happen.

I think, this quote is perfect for anxiety victims. Like, hey, anything can happen will happen. So, be fine about that. Prepare for the worst because if it can happen, so it will happen.

Peaceful regard,

Gumilar

 

6 Most Important Things to Remember When You Love Someone with Anxiety

6 most important things to remember when you love someone with anxiety

Have you ever think about this?

Imagine your loved ones sitting on the sofa with shaking hands and sweating forehead, and you don’t know what to do.anxiety is the most common mental disorder

This might not happen to you. But, anxiety is the most common mental disorder in US – with 10% of teens and 40% of adults suffering from anxiety, the possibility is endless.

So, here is your cheat sheet. most important things to remember when you love someone with anxiety:

1. They also think that anxiety is pointless

We think that feeling anxious is irrational and pointless, and we’re trying to tell this to anxious person. The fact is, they knew this already.

Telling this to them only makes thing worse, they will blame themselves. Understand that knowing this doesn’t help them overcome their anxiety.

2. They get tired easily

Although classified as mental disorder, anxiety is physically tiring. Anxious people are always on alert, their mind and body are constantly on hyper tense state. Anxiety symptoms like rapid heartbeat and short breath cause physical tiring too.

Ever had a stressful workweek when you feel “can I take a break?”

That’s how anxious people live their life.


Study found that although resting reduces anxiety, it doesn’t help against stressful event (Smith, 2013). Instead, light, everyday exercise does.


3. Asking “are you okay?” to them is useless

Asking “are you okay?” to a person with shaking hands, sweating body, and rapid heartbeat is useless because you already know the answer: no.

You can instead say this to them:

  • “You’ve got past this before, you’ll get past it again.”
  • “I’m here for you.”
  • “Remember to (do things that has helped them before).”

4. They may never go to psychiatristanxiety is often ignored and untreated

The shocking facts are:

  • 2/3 adults don’t treat their anxiety.
  • Only 1 of 5 teens treat their anxiety.

So, when you recently married someone with anxiety, you should ask him “have you ever go to psychiatrist before?”.

5. They need to be understood

6 suicide happen in Australia everyday, many victims have anxiety disorder.6 people in australia commit suicide anxiety disorder

Anxious people are different from us. They often (falsely) jump to conclusion when talking (Fraley et al., 2006), having sleep disorder, eat disorder, and hyperactivity. Research even show that anxious people tend to smell everything stink (Krusemark & Li, 2013).

Don’t blame them, they already blamed themselves. They just can’t yet overcome their anxiety.

Instead, understand them, be supportive to them.

6. They love you toohow anxious people love

Believe it or not, they love you too. It’s just difficult for them to think about it because they have larger personal space (Sambo & Iannetti, 2013), which means that they are loner. They also have tons of thoughts inside their brain – anxious people tend to overthink.

Deep inside them, they love you.

At the end…

If you can’t love people with anxiety, just let them go. Life is too short, live the life you want.

But, if you can love them, remember what Lao Tzu said years ago:

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

-Lao Tzu

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Here is Why You’re Easily Stressed All The Time

We have two layers of mind: conscious and subconscious. They affect how we think, and most importantly, our mood. I will tell you how to consciously repair both your conscious and subconscious mind from things that make yourself easily stressed , and automatically make yourself yourself happier.

Hooked Thoughts

Hey, remember that assignment that must be submitted next month? or maybe that unrealistically big project you’re working on? thinking about them makes you stressed a little bit, right? I call these kind of thoughts as “hooked thoughts”. They tend to stay on our mind until we’re finished working on them.

That stressing effect when we think about them is a short term effect. It happens at our conscious mind. I think it’s okay because it literally reminds you of project that needs to be done.
But here’s the big problem…

Hooked thoughts actually hooks in our subconscious mind. They NEVER gone until we finish our project. If you’re a computer geek, here’s the analogy:
Our mind is just like computer’s RAM. What we’re working on and thinking about right now is considered as foreground apps. Other thoughts – Jimmy’s next week birthday, that math equation – are considered to be background apps, so does hooked thoughts.

The problem is, when other “background apps” are actually useful (we can remember Jimmy’s birthday, and that math equation), hooked thoughts tend to be pressuring and doing nothing useful. Hooked thoughts are just filling the RAM (our mind, I mean). They pressure us to do our task, but when we don’t do it, hooked thoughts are literally just pressuring without giving any benefit.

So how to get rid of these hooked thoughts?

Actually it’s simple to be said – do the task when your mind starts to think about that.