6 Most Important Things to Remember When You Love Someone with Anxiety

6 most important things to remember when you love someone with anxiety

Have you ever think about this?

Imagine your loved ones sitting on the sofa with shaking hands and sweating forehead, and you don’t know what to do.anxiety is the most common mental disorder

This might not happen to you. But, anxiety is the most common mental disorder in US – with 10% of teens and 40% of adults suffering from anxiety, the possibility is endless.

So, here is your cheat sheet. most important things to remember when you love someone with anxiety:

1. They also think that anxiety is pointless

We think that feeling anxious is irrational and pointless, and we’re trying to tell this to anxious person. The fact is, they knew this already.

Telling this to them only makes thing worse, they will blame themselves. Understand that knowing this doesn’t help them overcome their anxiety.

2. They get tired easily

Although classified as mental disorder, anxiety is physically tiring. Anxious people are always on alert, their mind and body are constantly on hyper tense state. Anxiety symptoms like rapid heartbeat and short breath cause physical tiring too.

Ever had a stressful workweek when you feel “can I take a break?”

That’s how anxious people live their life.


Study found that although resting reduces anxiety, it doesn’t help against stressful event (Smith, 2013). Instead, light, everyday exercise does.


3. Asking “are you okay?” to them is useless

Asking “are you okay?” to a person with shaking hands, sweating body, and rapid heartbeat is useless because you already know the answer: no.

You can instead say this to them:

  • “You’ve got past this before, you’ll get past it again.”
  • “I’m here for you.”
  • “Remember to (do things that has helped them before).”

4. They may never go to psychiatristanxiety is often ignored and untreated

The shocking facts are:

  • 2/3 adults don’t treat their anxiety.
  • Only 1 of 5 teens treat their anxiety.

So, when you recently married someone with anxiety, you should ask him “have you ever go to psychiatrist before?”.

5. They need to be understood

6 suicide happen in Australia everyday, many victims have anxiety disorder.6 people in australia commit suicide anxiety disorder

Anxious people are different from us. They often (falsely) jump to conclusion when talking (Fraley et al., 2006), having sleep disorder, eat disorder, and hyperactivity. Research even show that anxious people tend to smell everything stink (Krusemark & Li, 2013).

Don’t blame them, they already blamed themselves. They just can’t yet overcome their anxiety.

Instead, understand them, be supportive to them.

6. They love you toohow anxious people love

Believe it or not, they love you too. It’s just difficult for them to think about it because they have larger personal space (Sambo & Iannetti, 2013), which means that they are loner. They also have tons of thoughts inside their brain – anxious people tend to overthink.

Deep inside them, they love you.

At the end…

If you can’t love people with anxiety, just let them go. Life is too short, live the life you want.

But, if you can love them, remember what Lao Tzu said years ago:

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

-Lao Tzu

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How to Hide Your Anxiety and Socialize with Others Like Normal

Hello guys, Gum here (don’t you bored with me?).

I think anxiety is just like gallons of water flowing inside a water pump — it can be delayed (by closing the valve) and the flow can be continued when we want. This is maybe true for some people, and maybe not for others. The key is the pump valve — the valve that consists of only one thing: living in the present. But, how can we make this valve? How can we delay the flow of anxiety in our pipe of mind?

Well, let’s see how.

There are many ways to hide anxiety, but I have mentioned 4 things that are easy to implement below:

  • Bring private music anywhere. If you don’t have any conversation partner (maybe you’re in the car or somewhere), you can just bring a Walkman plus a headphone with you. Don’t forget to bring your favorite music playlists. Then, listen to them, and sing with them, just like you’re watching a concert. This is the most enjoyable way to live in the present.
  • Analyze many things close to you. Have you ever read Sherlock Holmes books? They’re all talking about how great Sherlock’s deductive ability is. You can impersonate his habit, constantly analyzing. Maybe a blue matte-colored helmet with lots of scratches, and oh god! there are few cracks around the helmet! Analyzing things is fun, and you can even come up with a conclusion like “this helmet may have participated in a motorcycle crash show”, or something like that.
  • Listen to others’ saying well. First, I have told you that people will like you if you listen to whatever they’re talking well. Second, listening well to others’ saying helps you live in the present and it increases your concentration. When other people near you are talking, listen to them carefully, you can then say some comments, and even helpful suggestions automatically.
  • Keep the conversation going. If you’re in a group of people, and no one talks, there is a big chance where you can worry about something. So what you need to do is to start the conversation. Talk about trending topic, or even recount old topic, then ask what do your friends think. This will keep you live in the present.

Actually…

This is the best tips: you can choose to not to hide your anxiety to get in with your friend. Just be yourself. You can even tell your friend that you got anxiety, and that’s even more recommended than to hide your anxiety.

That’s all from me, remember that, I’m not a therapist, psychologist, expert, or something. I just a boy who has a willingness to learn. So please share your tips if you have one.
Thanks for reading!

6 Things You Need to Know When Dealing with Anxiety in Children

dealing with anxiety in children header
Background source: Maruzza

Hello guys, Gum here.
Dealing with anxiety in children is far harder than anxiety in teens. Children don’t understand things easily, some of them don’t even know what panic is, which is an important phrase in medical psychology world.

Before knowing 6 ways to deal with anxiety in children, you must know things that distinguish children from other ages of people, and here they are:

  • Children often use imagination.
  • Children don’t know much.
  • The outside world is still a new thing to children.

Now, let’s see 6 ways to deal with anxiety in children:

  • Tell them others’ similar anxiety stories. Of course these stories must have a good ending (a.k.a. things they’re worrying didn’t happen anyway). And please notice the similarity of the story with what happens to your children. Children more likely interested to hear stories with same location, and same condition; rather than stories with different place from where they are now.
    Why? Because their highly-imaginative mind can create a parrying statement to what you’ve said. For example, if you told a good-ending anxiety story of a boy with exactly same condition with your boy, but the story takes place in Philadelphia; your boy can create a parrying statement like “but he lives in Philadelphia, and I’m in Iowa. What happened to him will never happens to me”.

    dealing anxiety in children
    Source: WIkipedia
  • Be close to them, but don’t treat them like you’re the only person who cares about them. Do you know some kids who are crying in their really first day of school? Why are they crying? Because they think the only people who cares about them are their parents, whom they don’t see in the class. And in some cases, these kids don’t have any friends before their first day of school, which can be really stressful for them.
  • Listen to their “this is how my day going…”, and really, be a good listener. Everyone in this world love someone who listen when they speak, so do children. Listen carefully to what they’re speaking, and ask some questions (not interrogative questions, just easy-to-answer questions) about what they said before.

    Dealing with anxiety in children activities
    Source: Fotopedia
  • Introduce them to some new activities. The key to relieve from anxiety is to live in the present. Having many hobbies distracts children from their imaginary thoughts.
  • Let them make friends, treat them like normal kids. Please, never bring a big first aid box anywhere near your kids; they don’t like that. Instead, you can see them from a far place (with first aid box ready), and see them happily make new friends; really, it’s a great feeling.

    Some Tips from Me

    I have some tips to deal with anxiety in children:

      • Never let them watch horror and thriller movies.
      • Never make yourself looks “violent” and “harmful” to them.
      • Don’t talk about their future (jobs, etc.) until they become teens.
      • Never stress them with any target made by yourself, they choose what they want.

    Final Words

    Well, concluded 6 ways to deal with anxiety in children are:
    – Tell them others’ similar anxiety stories
    – Don’t position yourself as the only person who cares about them
    – Be a good listener
    – Give them some hobbies
    – Treat them like normal kids
    These are the ways, do these seem right? Do you disagree with some of them? Write your thoughts, experiences, anything.

    dealing anxiety with children quotes
    Source: Academic Concepts

    Regards, Gum Fard.

10 Signs of People with Anxiety + The Cures for Anxiety

Hello! Gum here.
Today, I (my name is Gum Fard, in case if you don’t know it yet) will guide you through this informative, roller-coaster list of reasons why people got anxiety.

The Philosophy

Have you got anxiety? Some people even got long-lasting anxiety (can be cured through therapy, etc.). Well, a good mechanic said:

Before we can fix a broken car, it’s good to know the sign which indicates that the car is broken.

This is somewhat same to our problem here:

Before we can fix anxiety, it’s good to know which sign that indicates anxiety. We want to know the sign, so we can know the reason, and so we can know what’s the rightest cure.

The List of Signs

After dealing with that philosophical things up there, we can now “deal” with the list:

  • People with anxiety are generally full of speculation. We know this from a scene in “2012” movie when the famous Dalai Lama told his student that his student is like a glass full of water. His student’s mind is full of speculation, and this is one of the cause of anxiety.
  • People with anxiety are often introvert. Lifting 90 kilos sandbag is better done with 5 people than one person; this is what I want to tell you. Introvert people are likely hide their personal problem so they face it alone. But there are times when we need others help, and that’s why introverts have bigger chances of anxiety than extroverts.
  • People with anxiety generally think too much. Depressed people hold too many thoughts than their mind can hold. This principal of depression is applicable to anxiety. Even some people got both depression and anxiety, unfortunately.
  • Almost all people with anxiety have weak mentality. People with weak mentality often regret the past; they often don’t have believe about something. Their everyday life becomes full of sadness.
  • People with anxiety are mostly uncertain about anything. People with anxiety don’t decide anything easily. They sometimes want an advice from others. They can’t naturally be a leader, entrepreneur, or anything that requires people with high level of leadership.
  • People with anxiety are not motivated enough. Anxiety usually starts when you don’t have daily quote, motivating people, and other things which can motivate you. People with anxiety that are not motivated like this become lazier and they become lonely. They become introverts, then they’re worrying about their life; this is the moment when anxiety usually starts.
  • Most people with anxiety don’t dream big. Most people with anxiety are non-believers. They don’t believe that things will work like what has been planned, Especially big things with big plans.
  • Some people with anxiety don’t believe life is beautiful. Some people with anxiety always regret what happened in their life. They believe that they are unlucky person who can’t life happily like others. They always wondering why god made them
  • Some people with anxiety don’t believe big dreams can be achieved. Some people with anxiety don’t dream big because they believe that big dreams are unachievable. They also believe that others’ big dreams are unachievable too.
  • Some people with anxiety don’t use logical thinking as much as others. Some people with anxiety just think; they think too much, they speculate too much, and they often don’t use any real example (what happened when other people have the same problem), and they even don’t use their common sense to think and speculate something. They just think.
  • The Fixes

    I don’t need to write the entire fixes; the fixes are all things that counter the signs.
    For example, if you don’t dream big, start dream big. If you speculate too much things, think and speculate less than you usually do.
    Just use your mind to see the opposite of the sign you are experiencing.

    Final Words

    I don’t say that people with anxiety will have all these 10 things.
    if you experience (some, or even all) signs above, start to fix yourself using the opposite of the sign you are experiencing.
    You can also check yourself to a doctor or psychologist (for anticipation), but I’m not recommend you to do that, because that’s a waste of time and money.
    By the way, thank you for reading. Please share, and ask anything via comment!