6 Most Important Things to Remember When You Love Someone with Anxiety

6 most important things to remember when you love someone with anxiety

Have you ever think about this?

Imagine your loved ones sitting on the sofa with shaking hands and sweating forehead, and you don’t know what to do.anxiety is the most common mental disorder

This might not happen to you. But, anxiety is the most common mental disorder in US – with 10% of teens and 40% of adults suffering from anxiety, the possibility is endless.

So, here is your cheat sheet. most important things to remember when you love someone with anxiety:

1. They also think that anxiety is pointless

We think that feeling anxious is irrational and pointless, and we’re trying to tell this to anxious person. The fact is, they knew this already.

Telling this to them only makes thing worse, they will blame themselves. Understand that knowing this doesn’t help them overcome their anxiety.

2. They get tired easily

Although classified as mental disorder, anxiety is physically tiring. Anxious people are always on alert, their mind and body are constantly on hyper tense state. Anxiety symptoms like rapid heartbeat and short breath cause physical tiring too.

Ever had a stressful workweek when you feel “can I take a break?”

That’s how anxious people live their life.

Study found that although resting reduces anxiety, it doesn’t help against stressful event (Smith, 2013). Instead, light, everyday exercise does.

3. Asking “are you okay?” to them is useless

Asking “are you okay?” to a person with shaking hands, sweating body, and rapid heartbeat is useless because you already know the answer: no.

You can instead say this to them:

  • “You’ve got past this before, you’ll get past it again.”
  • “I’m here for you.”
  • “Remember to (do things that has helped them before).”

4. They may never go to psychiatristanxiety is often ignored and untreated

The shocking facts are:

  • 2/3 adults don’t treat their anxiety.
  • Only 1 of 5 teens treat their anxiety.

So, when you recently married someone with anxiety, you should ask him “have you ever go to psychiatrist before?”.

5. They need to be understood

6 suicide happen in Australia everyday, many victims have anxiety disorder.6 people in australia commit suicide anxiety disorder

Anxious people are different from us. They often (falsely) jump to conclusion when talking (Fraley et al., 2006), having sleep disorder, eat disorder, and hyperactivity. Research even show that anxious people tend to smell everything stink (Krusemark & Li, 2013).

Don’t blame them, they already blamed themselves. They just can’t yet overcome their anxiety.

Instead, understand them, be supportive to them.

6. They love you toohow anxious people love

Believe it or not, they love you too. It’s just difficult for them to think about it because they have larger personal space (Sambo & Iannetti, 2013), which means that they are loner. They also have tons of thoughts inside their brain – anxious people tend to overthink.

Deep inside them, they love you.

At the end…

If you can’t love people with anxiety, just let them go. Life is too short, live the life you want.

But, if you can love them, remember what Lao Tzu said years ago:

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

-Lao Tzu

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Dealing with Anxiety: Don’t Go to Psychiatrist! Because…

Hello guys! Gum here.

Yep, before giving the answer of “because…”, I will tell you a story. Unfortunately, you’re the main character.

One day…

You’re lying on your bed right now, doing nothing, just thinking about your life like every other jobless person does.

dealing with anxiety
taken from deviantart

Then you remember how difficult your life is: joining embarrassing soccer club, not living in luxury, few friends also call you “weirdos”, that’s just too much for you. Then you’re asking yourself weird things that could happen, like “how mad my ex-boyfriend is after our relationship broken yesterday?”.

Then your heart pumps quicker. You feel dizzy. You almost slipped when you’re trying to stand up from your bed.

dealing with anxiety
also taken from deviantart

“Breathing is difficult” as you feel now. And you’re trying to find aspirin or morphine or anything you can find inside the first aid box–congratulation, you’ve got anxiety; or scientifically known as Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

Then surely lots of people around you, including psychology websites trying to tell you that you need therapy or medication or, in my language: time-and-money-wasting method to cure anxiety that doesn’t always work.

What psychologists suggestion for you?

Psychologists are cheaper than psychiatrists because they just commonly have to talk. First, they will talk you personally, you explain what’s your problem, they understand, they tell you the solution–and of course, psychological solution only.

When they’re mainly just talk and talk and talk, I’ve seen how they communicate, I’ve seen some of their websites and journals–and to be honest, most of them are as wise as Buddha, Jesus, and Muhammad.

So what’s these talkative, wise people called psychologists, suggest to you?
– Anxiety is mostly just fear.
– Stop trying to take negative conclusion of anything in your life.
– Never try to change what you can’t change.
– Never regret anything happens in the past.
– The soccer club you’re joining isn’t embarrassing, it’s okay if few friends call you “weirdos”, and many people are not living in luxury–these negative thoughts are just coming from your mind, try to reverse them, and you’ll be better.


Well, I can’t say that these suggestions from those wise man will work like a charm for everyone. Just try to follow these suggestions, when it doesn’t really work on you, you’ll need to meet a psychiatrist.

You’re not an anxious person as long as you…

are a confident person who confidently raise your hand and talk.
So please share your thoughts and ideas, I’m sure you are a genius with brilliant ideas and thoughts.

dealing with anxiety and raise your hand
this one was taken from flickr

I will surely reply to every single of your thoughts and ideas, and even “hi!”.

So, well…
Thanks for reading!

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