Here is What Anxious People Can Learn from Charismatic One

Wonder how charismatic people have so much friends, and even followers? Why are they never look in fear? Why are they always walk in confidence? Why are they behave like “everything will be alright”?

Here are the answers.

1. They Believe

People get anxious when uncertainty comes. Things they believe in starts to fade out. “Am I do the right thing?” question starts wandering around their mind. Yeah, this kind of question is wandering around everyone’s mind, but the charismatic one can handle it and stay believing.

Charismatic people believe in anything they think right. They believe what they’re doing right now are right (even if it doesn’t in some others’ perspectives), they believe in their belief, they believe in themselves.

They have that spirit, that confidence to stay believing even if it doesn’t seems right.

‘Cause nothing in this world is truly right, and uncertainty is always wandering around everything. So stay believing.

2. They have Realistic Goal

Three weeks ago you’ve set a target for yourself: “I will be a millionaire in a month”. Now you only have one week, and you don’t even have $1000. If you don’t re-evaluate your goal and forcing yourself to achieve it, you’ll get depressed and anxious.

set realistic life goal
from sani-salim.com

Charismatic people tend to set systematic and realistic goal. It must be measurable and reachable. Instead of setting a “one million in a month” goal, they instead set “$5000 million in a month”.

They know how to set a goal that makes them great (‘cause they’ll have $5000 next month) without pressuring them too much. They can organize their time and effort.

They set goal that doesn’t break their mind. That lets them live in peace and confident, because they know that their dream is achievable as long as they put enough effort and know how to achieve it.

3. They Don’t Care Much

Have you ever imagine when people talk about your appearance? Sounds a little bit scary, right?

A charismatic person will say “no, it isn’t scary”.

don't care much
from veracode.com

Charismatic people care, yes, they care – for anything that makes them improving. They don’t care about negative image people have about them. They just live confidently and don’t care about others that try to make them down.

4. They are Enthusiastic

Know that silent, lazy, and “looks-scary” people? We should call them “living dead”.

Charismatic people almost always look enthusiastic. They have the spirit in everything they do, in every of their conversation. That’s why charismatic people are always followed by others.

Enthusiasm is contagious.

5. They have Passion

One of the best way to get more friends, stay out from being introvert, and get a little fame is to have a passion. Choose a thing you really like and put your enthusiasm into it. Join community, learn about it more, and eventually be an expert. You’ll then get respected by others, and this is what charismatic people do.

So simply, be a person that have faith, enthusiastic, and confident.

Here is Why You’re Easily Stressed All The Time

We have two layers of mind: conscious and subconscious. They affect how we think, and most importantly, our mood. I will tell you how to consciously repair both your conscious and subconscious mind from things that make yourself easily stressed , and automatically make yourself yourself happier.

Hooked Thoughts

Hey, remember that assignment that must be submitted next month? or maybe that unrealistically big project you’re working on? thinking about them makes you stressed a little bit, right? I call these kind of thoughts as “hooked thoughts”. They tend to stay on our mind until we’re finished working on them.

That stressing effect when we think about them is a short term effect. It happens at our conscious mind. I think it’s okay because it literally reminds you of project that needs to be done.
But here’s the big problem…

Hooked thoughts actually hooks in our subconscious mind. They NEVER gone until we finish our project. If you’re a computer geek, here’s the analogy:
Our mind is just like computer’s RAM. What we’re working on and thinking about right now is considered as foreground apps. Other thoughts – Jimmy’s next week birthday, that math equation – are considered to be background apps, so does hooked thoughts.

The problem is, when other “background apps” are actually useful (we can remember Jimmy’s birthday, and that math equation), hooked thoughts tend to be pressuring and doing nothing useful. Hooked thoughts are just filling the RAM (our mind, I mean). They pressure us to do our task, but when we don’t do it, hooked thoughts are literally just pressuring without giving any benefit.

So how to get rid of these hooked thoughts?

Actually it’s simple to be said – do the task when your mind starts to think about that.

How to Hide Your Anxiety and Socialize with Others Like Normal

Hello guys, Gum here (don’t you bored with me?).

I think anxiety is just like gallons of water flowing inside a water pump — it can be delayed (by closing the valve) and the flow can be continued when we want. This is maybe true for some people, and maybe not for others. The key is the pump valve — the valve that consists of only one thing: living in the present. But, how can we make this valve? How can we delay the flow of anxiety in our pipe of mind?

Well, let’s see how.

There are many ways to hide anxiety, but I have mentioned 4 things that are easy to implement below:

  • Bring private music anywhere. If you don’t have any conversation partner (maybe you’re in the car or somewhere), you can just bring a Walkman plus a headphone with you. Don’t forget to bring your favorite music playlists. Then, listen to them, and sing with them, just like you’re watching a concert. This is the most enjoyable way to live in the present.
  • Analyze many things close to you. Have you ever read Sherlock Holmes books? They’re all talking about how great Sherlock’s deductive ability is. You can impersonate his habit, constantly analyzing. Maybe a blue matte-colored helmet with lots of scratches, and oh god! there are few cracks around the helmet! Analyzing things is fun, and you can even come up with a conclusion like “this helmet may have participated in a motorcycle crash show”, or something like that.
  • Listen to others’ saying well. First, I have told you that people will like you if you listen to whatever they’re talking well. Second, listening well to others’ saying helps you live in the present and it increases your concentration. When other people near you are talking, listen to them carefully, you can then say some comments, and even helpful suggestions automatically.
  • Keep the conversation going. If you’re in a group of people, and no one talks, there is a big chance where you can worry about something. So what you need to do is to start the conversation. Talk about trending topic, or even recount old topic, then ask what do your friends think. This will keep you live in the present.

Actually…

This is the best tips: you can choose to not to hide your anxiety to get in with your friend. Just be yourself. You can even tell your friend that you got anxiety, and that’s even more recommended than to hide your anxiety.

That’s all from me, remember that, I’m not a therapist, psychologist, expert, or something. I just a boy who has a willingness to learn. So please share your tips if you have one.
Thanks for reading!

6 Things You Need to Know When Dealing with Anxiety in Children

dealing with anxiety in children header
Background source: Maruzza

Hello guys, Gum here.
Dealing with anxiety in children is far harder than anxiety in teens. Children don’t understand things easily, some of them don’t even know what panic is, which is an important phrase in medical psychology world.

Before knowing 6 ways to deal with anxiety in children, you must know things that distinguish children from other ages of people, and here they are:

  • Children often use imagination.
  • Children don’t know much.
  • The outside world is still a new thing to children.

Now, let’s see 6 ways to deal with anxiety in children:

  • Tell them others’ similar anxiety stories. Of course these stories must have a good ending (a.k.a. things they’re worrying didn’t happen anyway). And please notice the similarity of the story with what happens to your children. Children more likely interested to hear stories with same location, and same condition; rather than stories with different place from where they are now.
    Why? Because their highly-imaginative mind can create a parrying statement to what you’ve said. For example, if you told a good-ending anxiety story of a boy with exactly same condition with your boy, but the story takes place in Philadelphia; your boy can create a parrying statement like “but he lives in Philadelphia, and I’m in Iowa. What happened to him will never happens to me”.

    dealing anxiety in children
    Source: WIkipedia
  • Be close to them, but don’t treat them like you’re the only person who cares about them. Do you know some kids who are crying in their really first day of school? Why are they crying? Because they think the only people who cares about them are their parents, whom they don’t see in the class. And in some cases, these kids don’t have any friends before their first day of school, which can be really stressful for them.
  • Listen to their “this is how my day going…”, and really, be a good listener. Everyone in this world love someone who listen when they speak, so do children. Listen carefully to what they’re speaking, and ask some questions (not interrogative questions, just easy-to-answer questions) about what they said before.

    Dealing with anxiety in children activities
    Source: Fotopedia
  • Introduce them to some new activities. The key to relieve from anxiety is to live in the present. Having many hobbies distracts children from their imaginary thoughts.
  • Let them make friends, treat them like normal kids. Please, never bring a big first aid box anywhere near your kids; they don’t like that. Instead, you can see them from a far place (with first aid box ready), and see them happily make new friends; really, it’s a great feeling.

    Some Tips from Me

    I have some tips to deal with anxiety in children:

      • Never let them watch horror and thriller movies.
      • Never make yourself looks “violent” and “harmful” to them.
      • Don’t talk about their future (jobs, etc.) until they become teens.
      • Never stress them with any target made by yourself, they choose what they want.

    Final Words

    Well, concluded 6 ways to deal with anxiety in children are:
    – Tell them others’ similar anxiety stories
    – Don’t position yourself as the only person who cares about them
    – Be a good listener
    – Give them some hobbies
    – Treat them like normal kids
    These are the ways, do these seem right? Do you disagree with some of them? Write your thoughts, experiences, anything.

    dealing anxiety with children quotes
    Source: Academic Concepts

    Regards, Gum Fard.